急！！！求英文高手翻译一篇文章！！
国人都喊他“超级丹”，西方人则称呼他为“羽毛球界的摇滚明星”。
经过了一年离开羽毛球界的休整，二十九岁的林丹整装待发，重回羽坛。
在八月十一日，他打败了来自马来西亚的三十岁老将李崇伟，赢得世界羽毛球锦标赛的冠军。这是他第五次获此大奖。
纯手译，请采纳！
有许多不同种类的汽车在这个会。我表哥觉得这是由于汽车很像他们的司机。他说:“有钱人拥有昂贵的汽车,大的人有大型汽车,老人们开车旧汽车。”但是我不同意他的说法。
我的邻居,夫人。希尔,是82岁。她开车只有星期二,然后她开车只有去银行了。她从不驱动器超过30公里/小时。你认为夫人希尔已经很老的和小的车吗?不!她的车是新的。这是非常大的,它可以去200公里每小时!
我的朋友迈克是艺术家。他的画有许多漂亮的图画的颜色。但他的车是黑色的!太太。贝茨有一个非常,非常的旧车。它通常因引擎故障:那她开车的那种车,因为她很可怜吗?不,她有四家餐厅和2万美元的银行。我的uncl乔有一个非常小的汽车。每个星期天,他开车去这个国家时,他的三个孩子,他的母亲和他们的狗。
现在,你已经阅读了我的朋友们和他们的汽车。你同意我的表哥吗?也许你有一辆小汽车。说你两句吗?
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Sunday was the latest bad luck, she always said she cried to go to Chapter Temple monks.
有一天下午，Sunday走在一条小路上，见周围没有车，又开始自恋，故意大摇大摆地走在路中央，突然，Sunday觉得好像有一团稀稀的东西掉在她手上
One day in the afternoon, Sunday in a small way to go, do not see around the car, narcissistic started deliberately and blatantly go in the way the central authorities, all of a sudden, Sunday felt like a college Xixi things out in her hands,
她突然有一种不祥的预感，低头一看，原来是一团白色的鸟屎！
she suddenly there is a Sense of foreboding, Ditouyikan, it was a mass of white bird feces!
她很郁闷并且很是愤怒，全然不顾淑女形象，朝着天空大吼：“太没有公德心了！讲点道德吧！！居然随地大小便！”
She is very depressed and angry, despite the image of the lady, roared toward the sky: "It was not a civic-minded! Talk about moral point of it!! Even toilet anywhere!"
Sunday was the latest bad luck, she always said she cried to go to Chapter Temple monks.
One day in the afternoon, Sunday in a small way to go, do not see around the car, narcissistic started deliberately and blatantly go in the way the central authorities, all of a sudden, Sunday felt like a college Xixi things out in her hands, she suddenly there is a Sense of foreboding, Ditouyikan, it was a mass of white bird feces! She is very depressed and angry, despite the image of the lady, roared toward the sky: "It was not a civic-minded! Talk about moral point of it!! Actually Toilet anywhere! "
Sunday has bad luck these days. One afternoon, Sunday was walking on a road, saw there was no car around, she became to narcissism, swagger to the center of the road , suddenly, Sunday feel something wet fell in her hand, she suddenly had an unlucky feeling, she looked down, and found it was a bird excrement! She was gloomy and very angry, completely forgot her gentlewoman's image, yell to the sky:"No social morality! You can't efecate indiscriminately!"
翻完了，不过说老实话，不知道从哪里看出这是个笑话？
Sunday was the latest bad luck, she always said she cried to go to Chapter Temple monks. 我
One day in the afternoon, Sunday in a small way to go, do not see around the car, narcissistic started deliberately and blatantly go in the way the central authorities, all of a sudden, Sunday felt like a college Xixi things out in her hands, she suddenly there is a Sense of foreboding, Ditouyikan, it was a mass of white bird feces! She is very depressed and angry, despite the image of the lady, roared toward the sky: "It was not a civic-minded! Talk about moral point of it!! Even toilet anywhere!"
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