帮我翻译一下这篇英语文章

帮忙翻译一下这篇英语文章~

某个周一,杰克到一家小饭馆找了一张桌子坐下。他等待了一会儿,当一位年轻的女服务员向他走来,他要了一些蔬菜汤。女服务员记在了本子上,然后走开了。饭店里有许多人,女服务员很忙。但是最后,她给杰克端来一盘鱼和土豆。
女服务员刚转身要走,杰克叫住了她。“我没有点鱼和土豆。我点的是蔬菜汤。”“哦,”女服务员说,“我以为您点的是鱼和土豆。”“不是,”杰克说,“看看你的笔记本你就会知道我点的是蔬菜汤。”女服务员把小小的笔记本翻了个底朝天,最后找到了杰克的订单。“24号桌,”她读道,“一份蔬菜汤。”“是的,抱歉,我搞错了,我马上换。”他把笔记本放在杰克的桌子上,拿出一支笔,把蔬菜汤三个字划掉,写上鱼和土豆。她把笔记本合上然后很快走开了,而杰克张大着嘴坐在那里,吃惊得一个字也说不出。

非翻译机,这是一个笑话,不过适合笑点低的人……希望对LZ有帮助

John was lazy.He didn't want to work.He prefered to stay at home and watch television.One day,John's wife went to the supermarket.She saw a "help wanted" sign in the supermarket window.The supermarket needed someone to put things on the shelves.She spoke to the manager.She told him that her husband didn't have a job but he was very strong.She told him that John would come to talk to him about the job.
John是个一个懒汉,他不喜欢工作,而是喜欢呆在家里看电视。一天,John的妻子在超市窗上看到了一个“招聘帮手”的招贴,这家超市需要有人做往架子上摆放东西的工作。John的妻子见了经理,告诉他她的战斧没有工作,但是人非常强壮,她会让丈夫来和经理面谈工作的事宜。
When she got home,she told her husband about the job.John was watching television while she was talking to him.His wife was angry.She turned off the television.She ordered him to go to the supermarket to apply for the job.John didn't want his wife to be angry,so he went.
妻子到家以后就告诉丈夫关于工作的事。John当时边听妻子诉说边看电视。妻子对他的举动非常恼怒,关掉了电视并让John去申请这份工作。John不希望妻子生气,于是便去了。
On the way to the supermarket John thought what would happen if the manager offered him a job.He wouldn't be able to stay at home and watch television.He would have to come to the supermarket every day and put things on the shelves.
在路上,John想如果超市经理雇用了他,他将无法再呆在家里看电视,而是要每天到超市上班,一遍又一遍将东西放上架子。
Then he had an idea.He decided to tell the manager that he had a sore shoulder so that he could not raise his arm above his head.He was sure the manager wouldn't give him the job.
突然间他有了一个主意,他决定告诉经理他的肩膀有上而不能将手举过头顶。他确信这样子经理就不会雇用他。
When he arrived at the supermarket,he told the manager that he needed a job.
他来到超市,并告诉经理他需要一份工作。
"Are you strong?"the manager asked.
“你体格够强壮么”经理问。
John explained that he couldn't raise his arm above his head.John told him that he had an accident to home while digging in the garden.
John解释说他现在已经不能将手高举过头顶,因为他曾经在花园里挖洞的时候出过事故。
"How hign can you raise your arm?"the manager asked.
“你的手(现在)能举多高”经理问。
John lifted his arm a little."Only this high," he said.
John稍微举起了他的手臂。“只有这么高,” 他说
"And how high could you raise it before the accident?"asked the manager.
"那么,在出事以前你能举多高?"经理问。
"This high," said John.And he lifted his arm above his head.
"这么高",John说,然后他把手举过头顶。

To someone 给某人
Last time to call you 最后一次打电话给你
Dear Jimmil 亲爱的Jimmil
What honor do you have to say you still love me? 你有什么荣耀说你还爱我?
You can tell me? 你能告诉我吗?
I have said that Leaves must forever departure 我已经说过了,叶子必须永远的离开
I have not changed 我没有改变
Xiaoyu have not changed 小雨也没有改变
Was only a pity 只是可惜
The cloud is the sail story 云是帆的故事
The sail is the wind story 帆是风的故事
BUT i can't to be your story 但是我不是你的故事
I have Nothing to say 我没有什么好说的
My heart already had the subordinate 我的心已经属于我的爱了
my love give a girl her not any outstanding than you 它给了一个并不比你优秀的女孩
but her let me lose my heart 但她让我如此失望

so.Leaves Please you forever departure 叶子,请你永远的离开吧

The vision is lonelier than the dim light of night 这一幕比夜间昏暗的光线还孤单

Sharp REN 夏普 任

给某某
最后一次叫你
亲爱的Jimmil
你还有什么脸说你还爱我?
你能给我个理由吗?
我已经说过了,树叶的离开就是永远。
我没变
Xiaoyu没变
仅仅是可惜吗?
云是航行的故事
航行是飘的故事
可我不是你的故事
我什么也不想说
我的心已经给了另一个人了
我的给了一女孩,一个哪一方面都不如你的女孩
但是我真的很爱她
所以,请你永远的离开我的世界吧
眼前的景象,比那深夜里隐隐约约的烛光还要孤单

我觉得这可能是一首诗,所以我以诗的形式来译,但是大意我觉得我已经是做到把它完全保留下来了
冒昧一句,我看一下,文中有一两句似乎存在错误

某人
最后一次给您打电话
亲爱的Jimmil
什么荣誉,你不得不说你还爱我吗?
你可以告诉我吗?
我说过,叶片必须永远离开
我并没有改变
xiaoyu没有改变
只可惜
云是帆的故事
帆是风的故事
但我不能成为你的故事
我没有什么要说
我的心已经下了决定
我的爱给了一个女孩但没有任何悬超过你
但她让我失去我的心

so.Leaves请你永远离开

我们的愿望是纪念活动的光线比昏暗更暗

夏普任



某人
最后一次给您打电话
亲爱的Jimmil
什么荣誉,你不得不说你还爱我吗?
你可以告诉我吗?
我说过,叶片必须永远离开
我并没有改变
小玉没有改变
只可惜
云是帆的故事
帆是风的故事
但我不能将你的故事
我没有什么要说
我的心已经下属
我的爱给她一个女孩没有任何悬而未决的比你
但她让我失去我的心

so.Leaves请你永远离开

我们的目标是纪念活动的昏暗的光线比夜间

这也太肉麻了撒。

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